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The Struggle of Struggling

Updated: Sep 1, 2022

Have you ever been in such a financial funk that you felt bad for being happy?

Like seriously.

I can’t pay my bills, but I’m happy. I barely have funds to buy food for the week, but I’m happy.

Why are you happy?

Honestly, because I don’t want stress to kill me.

Regardless of whether I am happy, or upset, or anxious, my feelings will not put money in my pockets. My feelings will not pay my bills, and they surely will not buy me food.

Therefore, I refuse to allow the financial burden that has fallen upon me to ruin my happiness.

I also refuse to give up my creativity to focus on my financial struggles.

Instead, I will use my emotions & my creative skills to make something that will touch those who feel my pain.

My struggle connects me to others who are struggling just like me.

It is my form of connection, & my form of reaching them. Reaching you.

& I know that I’ll have my days where I see nothing but darkness. Heaviness will engulf me.

Stress will torture me, & anxiety will become my company.

But knowing that I am not alone makes me happy.

You are struggling alongside me.

& for some reason, knowing that brings me comfort.

Not being alone.

And that is good enough for me.

You help me rise up against my financial limitations.

You help me reach for something higher.

Something I was too afraid to reach for in the past.

I was afraid to struggle,

The way that I am now.

I was afraid to follow my passions because I was afraid to struggle.

The way that I am now.

But somehow, experiencing it first hand,

This isn’t so bad.

I am here because of things that were out of my hands.

Life is unpredictable.

I made choices that somehow went out of control.

& that was not my fault.

The world went into a recession, and that too,

Was not my doing.

I am simply here trying to make it with the little bit that I have.

& creating something from nothing is literally all that I have.

That alone brings me comfort.

I realize that following my passion was my only salvation.

I do not have to spend a dime. No.

My passions are free, & they are all mine.

But I couldn’t have realized that alone.

Because of you, I am able to keep going.

You inspire me to keep moving.

& that is why I am always smiling.

I’m ok enough to smile, therefore,

I’m happy enough to keep going.

I use my resources to create something out of nothing, & push through to make sure I finish it.

I really want you to see it.

I want you to see that financial limitations don’t define you.

& they damn sure don’t make you seem worthless.

It’s all in your head.

You are given the privilege to rise up from nothing.

So make the most of it.

Show me who you really are!

Money does not define you.

& it surely will not make you.

Love made you.

Love allowed you to live.

So take that,

& make something.

You are not alone in this struggle to survive.

We all are.

So your survival depends on you,

& how you value yourself when you truly have nothing.

Will you rise with me?

Create life with me?

I want you to know that life is full of possibilities.

You just have to open your eyes to see past the barriers.

Go ahead, take a look.

Open your mind.

Your imagination is infinite.

There are no limitations.

So go on…

Show me who you are.

Show me your magic!

Yours truly,

Janis E.💋

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